Don’t Stand So Close by Eric Red is, I have to admit, a book that I was suckered in by the cover, have to say it did it’s job perfectly and top marks for whoever choose them, IT, I mean it.
To the story well it’s a bit of a coming of age tale with some steamy action in the shape of a hot female teacher who it seems succumbs to the attentions of a smitten pupil. She introduces a bit of danger to spice things up, teaches our jammy young charge everything he could possibly want to know in the bedroom antics department but when he starts to fall for a class mate. Miss hot teacher ain’t too happy and she’s got a side that the locals are yet to see, anything goes in psychobitchpines.
Now if you look at the endorsements for Don’t Stand So Close, there’s one or two big names that have put their weight behind it, little old me on the other hand thought he must have been reading something else. The cover and the reviews must have raised my expectations beyond normal reason because I just felt lots of awkwardness with the dialogue, the over descriptive prose, even some of the supposed erotic encounters and violence that followed.
If you’re pushing an RV off a bridge, your shirt gets caught in the bumper just as it starts to plummet, is it possible that your shirt could get ripped off your back as you manage somewhat incredulously to hold onto a railing, a 3 tonne dead weight versus you and your shirt, yeah.
And if there’s a sane bloke out there who’s ever felt like cutting his own dick off then my names Bob McSeveredappendage and should you ever use the word palate in the description of a hot kiss, only if you’re a bloke writing about sex.
The story felt like exactly what it was, a first time author feeling his way with a story that could have been so much better if the editing was up to scratch. There were bits I enjoyed, the ending was ok, the plot had it’s moments but what I tend to remember is the impression of a mediocre job that could have been so much better.
Words by Paul Nelson, @pgnelson72
